Beyond Heaving Bosoms

Have to get around to reading this book.

Given such outtakes as:
The Top Ten Signs You’re Reading a Very Bad Romance Novel

eg # 5

The book, which started out as a perfectly normal romantic suspense novel, or historical romance, or any other formula set in a reasonably realistic, non-magical universe, suddenly throws down supernatural elements like talking animals or ghostly ancestors more than halfway through the book--all because the hero needs to find a way to rescue the heroine, find the treasure and/or solve the mystery.

Yeah, that's right. The plot has been run over by a tank driven by a grizzled old dude named Rusty, and Rusty has "DEUS" tattooed in big, black letters on his chest. When you see signs of Rusty and his big-ass Ex Machina, you run. You run like hell, little girl.