Twidding thumbs...

For years I have been a John M Ford fan, even since I encountered his Star Trek books*.
After his death earlier this year, a bunch of his posts and comments on Making Light have been put online here, here, here and here.

I do rather like this one (from the first set):

KIRK: Dammit, I need power right now or I’m going to direct again!
SPOCK: That’s a hardware problem, Captain. Perhaps you should call Mr. Scott in Tech Support.
KIRK: Scotty —
SCOTT’S VOICE: Thank you for calling the Engineering Deck. All service personnel are busy right now, except for me, and I’m drunk. If your problem is shield failure, press, or since this is the future, say 1. If your problem is phaser failure, press 2. If your problem is main engine failure, press 3 and wait for the commercial to end. If you are the Captain, Dr. McCoy keeps the bluidy Viagra, I don’t. Have a nice day.


[Edit] And:

English is what happens when you can’t decide whether the Greeks or the Romans had the better civilization, so you ask everybody they ever beat up on to sort it out.

English is a language in which up has forty-seven dictionary definitions but antidisestablishmentarianism is considered a “hard word.”


[Edit2] And this one is glorious:
( Hot Gingered Pygmy Mammoth & Jumbo Shrimp Salad )

*Yes, I used to read Star Trek books. It has been a while though. However, authors like Barbara Hambly, Diane Duane, Peter Morwood and the afore mentioned John M Ford are worth it.